I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
