physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
