Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
