is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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