I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
