This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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