Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Nicole vs. Life
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
