have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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