You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
