K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
All the doctor said was why
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
