i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
