My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
