I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
