his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
