It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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