So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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