Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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