I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
