i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
