...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
