i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
