Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
i think my cat just said my name.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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