I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
