i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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