Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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