idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
