you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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