Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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