i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
