She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I think my moral compass just broke
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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