i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I have aggressive nipples.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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