Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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