at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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