so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
