I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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