i may or may not be watching the land before time
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
