Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
