Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
