Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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