How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
