i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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