I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
