Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
