Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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