Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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