brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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