this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
