From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
