we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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