Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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