I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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